I am trying to pinpoint the moment where i felt connected to you. It wasn't the moment i saw you. It wasn't instant. I was too distracted by the beauty of Wadi Rum to really notice you. But when I did it was real and shared and consuming.
You were our guide. At our second stop I was waiting by the car and you asked me how it was travelling with my parents. I told you they were driving me crazy and you laughed saying that's what everyone says. Did I feel connected to you then? I'm not sure.
A few minutes later you took my camera from me and took photos of me pretending to drive the car. I noticed you had a nice smile.
After we climbed the rocks I saw you had changed into white linen pants and a white t-shirt. Your dark skin stood out and suddenly i realised you were beautiful. You were talking with your friend and I asked my dad to take a photo of all of us. I went to the side but you told me to sit in the middle and put your arm around me. My dad took too many photos. I was apologetic and you said it didn't matter you could sit like that all day. I smiled and realised you were flirting with me.
You told the group that if anyone wants to sit in the front seat with you they can. I thought I would like to but my dad jumped in. At the next stop you offered me your kaffir because the sun was strong.
You tied it around my head the traditional way and then I bounded up the rocks. I loved the feeling of climbing, heaving myself up and then once at the top feeling the soft warm wind and taking in the extreme space around me. The truth is I felt connected to the land before I felt connected to you.
I jumped into the front seat this time. It was just us, everybody else was in the back of the car that wasn't connected to the inside. I asked you a lot of questions about your life. I was curious and ignorant about bedouin life, but I also liked hearing you talk. There was a peacefulness about you. It's the same peacefulness i've noticed in others who feel a connection with their land and their people. I knew we had a lot to say to each other, and not very much time to say it. You asked if you could take me out that night and I regretfully told you that we were headed straight back to Israel.
After we had lunch I sat next to you again. You asked me how much time I would be in Aquaba before heading to Israel ... 'no time', our driver was taking us straight back to Israel after Wadi Rum. We were both disappointed. You said that I should come back and next time I could be your guest. You said you would take me to places in Wadi Rum that only locals know about, and that you would take me as my friend and not as my guide. I told you I would love that and I really, really meant it. I started to plan in my mind when I could come back.
By this time I had returned your kaffir to you and you picked it up and started to smell it. I thought this a little strange and then you handed it to me 'this is from Saudi Arabia, I bought it six months ago, so it's a last season design'. I thought this was really funny. 'I want you to have it', I began to refuse when you said apologetically 'i've been wearing it today so it might smell' again I said this wasn't necessary, you looked directly into my eyes and said 'it's from my heart to you'. I accepted the kaffir.
I wasn't sure how to say goodbye to you. I gave you a hug, we swapped e-mails and I told you I'de see you soon. One day there would be a knock at your door and it would be me.
'I hope so' you said.
